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I did, today, one of those stupid things one does when ones heart is breaking post relationship break-up.
I got an app called SMS Export. It makes your iPhone spew all your text messages out in a form you can paste into a spread sheet or a text editor like Word.
I have in the last two years sent and received over eighteen thousand text messages! Most of which went to and came from Jude.
Reading selectively I found something I didn’t expect to find. From about August 2010 she and I increasingly bickered and argued about my ex Maggie and a friend Fiona. Jude was and still is madly jealous of both of them. She has no reason to be jealous.
My surprise concerns the amount and the suddenness of the decent into conflict over nothing.
It’s almost like she wants to argue. She wants conflict about anything. She wants to prove that really all along I’m only posing as someone in love with her. I’m hood winking her I don’t really love her, I’m just acting.
I’m not a total innocent myself. I must see if there is a trigger to this behaviour of hers.
At this point in time there is little or nothing of Jude to be seen. She’s invisible in a cyber world sense.
There’s a homily on her daughters FB profile from Nob Marley, saying, truth is everybody will hurt you, it just depends on which one is worth suffering for.
