The end of something like a decade, or a year a century or a life always brings forward a heightened awareness of life.
I find I know when something is coming to an end. I knew when I was going to leave my home town of Cardiff for the last time and never live there again. I knew before I went to it when I was going to my last ship.
I get a sense of an event, a way-point or disturbance coming up. Somethings I have no idea what it is that’s about to happen, I just know something is coming up.
My love life, private life call it whatever has gone into a surreal world of confusion and frustration.
I don’t know where I stand with my ex and I don’t know what I should do about a possible connection elsewhere.
I’m trying to put all romantic and sexual concerns on hold. I want to get my project off the ground and move on. Move on from the Lodge and my job. Crikey I hate the both so much.
Why is it that so much in life is so clear when it’s behind you?
